I pledge allegiance to the fag..

America. Land of the free, of opportunity and of course, free speech. That is, so long as you're a God fearing, faggot hating christian. It was another glorious day for the Westboro Baptist Church whose subtlety and discretion in their religious views has made them household names across the globe. A US Supreme Court has given them the right to carry on with their peaceful, fag-themed protests and pickets of dead soldiers' funerals because it says so in the first amendment.

Founder of the church and resembling a lizard in a suit, Fred Phelps' was so excited by the news he probably made a speech containing the word 'fag' at some point or another. Little do the public know but Phelps actually works as a club promoter for a string of gay clubs called 'Fag' and every time he mentions the word 'Fag' he gets a big juicy bonus in his bank and his internal back pocket. This probably isn't true and is still under debate.

Where of course, I disagree with their extreme views, you have to hand it to them when they come up with such excellent epithets for people, like the pope being branded as 'The Godfather of Pedophiles'. If they're the only people going to heaven though, I'd rather not go, thank you.

So another great day for justice. Parents burying their children who died in combat are now falling victim to the very thing they were probably fighting for. Did you know the army has even started advertising on Spotify? Infiltrate any lair if you must but please not my Spotify playlist.

I know, being a British citizen I probably have no right to mock the legal system in America, but this is the same country that has summoned a cat for jury service.