First and foremost...

My reasoning behind this blog? To ponder, to question, to ventilate, to procrastinate. An update of my daily musings because I can't afford a notebook and pen and so, rather than keeping my thoughts to myself, I can tell the whole world at the extortionate rate of a £30 a month Virgin media bill.

I'm currently a Creative media student at Bath Spa university. It's funny how students at The University of Bath like to poke fun at us for 'not being a real university', when a lot of us couldn't give a sloppy turd about what they think.

I'd like to take this opportunity to promote 'The Spongebob Face'.

One of the co-founders of the Spongebob Face, Shaun

How to do the 'Spongebob Face': Simply throw your head back, drop your jaw and create a beautiful curve with your mouth. When you feel the sinking feeling in your face and neck, you know you're doing it correctly!

About me...Originally hailing from the deepest darkest ghettos of Cornwall, I've seen my fair share of in-breeding. I love Cornwall to bits. The Cornish are some of the most patriotic people in the UK. There seems to be an alliance between us, especially when we're out of Cornwall and find out there is another Cornish person within the vicinity. There's some sort of detection device implanted in the average Cornish cranium. You hear the word "Cornwall" and your ears prick up, kind of like when a dog hears "Walkies". You start up with a casual, "Wasson" and that develops to a "Yeeew boy" then following on to a long conversation trying to work out if you have any mutual friends. No mutual friends? Then let's talk about pasties. How Warrens is the Starbucks of the pasty world and to avoid it at all costs and how Philps are just the best, bar-none. (Unless you're going for a chicken one, you're best going to Rowes).

Anyways, so on to some moaning. A couple of things really grated me this week.

1. People on buses
2. High Fives

Firstly, when I say 'People on buses' I actually mean, this one particular nasal-voiced cretin. I am a fan of people-watching (not stalking) and over-hearing conversations (not eavesdropping). Actually on the subject of 'eavesdropping' what a great word eh? It makes me think of Adam's missus doing a poo. Anyways, like I said, I enjoy listening to a conversation I'm not actually part of. However, this bunged up character, charting her excessive drinking habits to the entire bus was just a sad case. She has a self-described 'liver made out of titanium'. Oh hahahaha you're so funny and cool, we all want to be like you. Well done. If only you were there for George Best. I just hope to God that the nasal voice and inability to talk in an inside voice was the result of a cold, and not because she is actually partially deaf. While on the subject of public transport, this is how they do things in Japan...




I have also found High-fives are coming into my life a little too often. Don't get me wrong, high-fives are lovely, especially if you get that 'slap' sound perfect, so perfect in fact that you want to high-five the high-five. But it's high-fiving the most mundane things that bothers me. Leave it to special occasions, otherwise it just loses the magical essence. When someone has that glowing palm raised and facing you with a look in their eye that's reminiscent of a kitten that just wants to be loved, probably after being thrown in a bin, you can't keep them hanging. That'd just break them. So you have to commit, and part of you dies inside.