Diddy try too hard??

It has emerged this week that Sean "Puffadiddleydoodiddleydee" Combs is the biggest try-hard in the world ever. For years he has hidden his actual dull personality with a lavish facade of mink coats and champagne. Combs' latest "Please like me" party, as they are now officially known, had him resorting to throwing $1million in cash of his own money into the crowd just to liven things up. It is sickening to think just how shite this party must have been to have to go to these drastic lengths. Reports from previous parties state that at one point he paid $30,000 on an orchid display. Not entirely sure what these orchids were doing for it to cost that much but I'm guessing it went down like a pin-prick in a condom.

Forever Trying...

Sources suggest that he has always been a characterless ball bag and is about as interesting as the back of a man's knee. This is evident in the way he raps his monotonous twaddle. If you listen very carefully, in most of his songs he has actually bored himself to sleep so he isn't actually saying anything audible.

On a serious note though, why doesn't he go and build some water wells in hard-hit places around the globe? Maybe a school or two?